I’m sitting here on my couch. Staring at the ceiling and, having just finished Girl Boss on Netflix, feeling quite emo.
I’ll be 28 next week and to some that may seem young but to me it signals that my time is running out. My time to do something fucking amazing with my life is getting smaller and smaller. (I don’t even know where I’m about to go with this blog but bear with me readers of the world wide web.)
My whole life has always revolved around pleasing others, caring for others….others being the underlying issue. I got straight A’s, went to college, got a respectable job…blah blah blah. Shit, I even made sure not to offend anyone in the process. I’ve always been pressured to be perfect, to be something that I’m not.
I want to cry and scream all at the same time. What the hell am I doing?
I’ll be 28 next week and feel like I’ve got nothing I can call my own. I own this blog, I have a YouTube channel but I can’t even find the time to shower, let alone post. And growing up is hard, man. It’s hard because no one tells you what you’re doing right. It’s always about what you’re doing wrong and I’m sick of it.
The happiest time of my life was after college when I was creating and uploading content on a consistent basis. I was free to do what I wanted…finally. I was free from the confines of society and family. But I fell victim to it once again and got a “real” job as my family likes to put it. Growing up is a lie and I think I’m gonna skip it.
I don’t know what comes next in my life. Shit, I don’t even know what I’m gonna have for breakfast tomorrow morning but I do know something’s coming and it’s strong as shit. Like me. Maybe these are the ramblings of an overtired mom who hasn’t washed her hair in three days or maybe, just maybe, these are the seeds of a dreamer that has lied dormant in me for too long.
Look at me world! Heh heh
As some of you may know, I have graduated from college this past summer. While I cannot be more proud of myself for the journey I have completed, I find myself searching to find my next mountain to climb. And some of you may be able to relate or your thinking this crazy woman doesn’t want to rest?!
Truth is…I don’t. I want to live, experience life to the best of my ability and use my skills to better the lives of others around me. While I do want to find employment, I am finding that to be trying as my daughter requires a huge majority of my time. So for now, I figure I can post these small messages of encouragement with the hopes that they will reach at least one person in this vast universe that we call the internet. I know, so insightful right?!
Here are a 5 things that you can do after college to either help with a job search or simply just live after you have completed the one thing the whole world has told you to do since you were able to say mama and dada…
- Attend a job fair and/or a resume workshop: Each of these is a way to see what’s out there and to figure out where you can best utilize your skills. Your resume is your first impression with a potential employer and needs to be flawless. You wouldn’t want to meet your in-laws looking like you live under a bridge so treat your resume the same. Check with your school about resume workshops and job fairs because 9 times out of 10 they’re free and on campus. Attending job fairs or expos are also excellent ways to meet future employers face to face, tell them what you are all about and to better understand the product/company you wish to work for. Plus, it’s always fun to meet new people!
- Take time to consider furthering your education: Does your future career path require further education such as a Masters or a Credential? Or are you not done learning yet? In my case, I am still unsure about what direction I am headed but if that’s a path I decide to go down I’ll evaluate the costs, time and benefits of the program. Hint. Hint.
- Start a new project: With YouTube and Instagram becoming a part of people’s everyday lives it has become easier for businesses to connect directly with their targeted audience. Have you ever wanted to make videos, create content, write a blog or simply be creative? This day and age could not be a better time to do so! Not to mention if you become popular there is a chance to make a career out of a hobby and to even..wait for it..be PAID for it! #winning
- Get a part-time job to fill the void: I know people think as soon as you graduate you simply must go out and get a job that pays salary but who are they to talk? Did they just go through their last round of finals only to wonder if they chose A instead of C and marked it correctly on the scantron?! Did they possibly write the 20 page paper on the hidden feminist symbolism in Heart of Darkness?! No! So quit thinking about what everyone else says is “right” and do what makes you happy. Having part-time work will put some cash into your wallet and let you experience what you like and may not be too fond of.
- Go easy on yourself: Getting a job and starting your life seem like musts now that you have graduated but remember that you are only one person! You went to school so that you could work in a field that you love so do just that! Look for careers that offer growth, stimulate your senses and constantly push your boundaries. These are the kind that will keep happiness a constant in your life!
😁*Bonus* Websites like linkedin, monster, indeed, and even craigslist are good places to search for careers as well as connect with employers! 😁
As I sit here in the Tijuana airport waiting another eight hours for our flight, contemplating the trust I bestowed upon my husband to set an alarm early enough for us to catch our original flight, and in shock that the Fanta here tastes like nectar of the gods, I wonder what it is that fuels fights between lovers. Is it the fact that one is perhaps not as punctual as they originally claimed to be or is it something deeper? I am in constant awe of the amount of trouble couples seem to have and while their arguments may seem superficial (You left the toilet seat up! You didn’t pay the bill…you, you, you), I like to believe in the inherent goodness each partner possesses. Call me a Humanist if you must. So, because I am in a bit of a sour mood with the man who couldn’t be on time even if World of Warcraft announced they were giving out life time supplies of their game, I would like to take this time to talk about five things we can do as an individual pillar of the relationship to get over the minuscule issues and simply just love:
- Think positive: Yes, you’re partner can sometimes have the mentality of a kindergartner, and okay sometimes they seem to be worse off then the lady in The Notebook who forgets her own kids, but remind yourself of why you are with them. Our brains have a natural tendency to think of the negative but push past that and think of the times they allowed you to do their cosplay make up after years of begging. Think about the time they tried to dance with you even though they looked like they could have been suffering from Epilepsy on the dance floor. Just cherish the time you have with them because moments are fleeting and the minute they are gone you can never touch them again only remember them. So, remember the good.
- Do something nice for them: Even if you’re mad! Doing something kind for someone else always makes you feel better. So whether it be picking up their suitcase because they look like they’re going to fall over (points no fingers) or popping a top ramen in the microwave just to say I love you, do it. Even if you’re bitter. Even if you can imagine leaving them behind and grabbing the next flight to Paris. Remember you’re inherent goodness. Do you want to add fuel to the fire or to be the bigger person? It’s always up to you.
- Hold their hand: Studies have shown that couples who touch more often, argue less. They also show that arguments dissipate faster if the couple is touching in some way. Grab their hand and squeeze it, not only are you using their hand like a stress ball but you’re helping to end the mishap earlier. And who doesn’t want to grab a plate of Enchiladas at the airport and catch up on their blog because the argument is over? 😉
- Remember humans make mistakes: No one is perfect. The person you are with isn’t with you because you are. People don’t love the perfection in others but rather the imperfections that make them unique. If we all loved perfection and were in fact perfect we wouldn’t have such a problem finding a mate. Eharmony and Tinder would be outta business and romance movies would be a joke. Sorry, Nicholas Sparks we still await your next regurgitation of The Notebook!
- Take a step back: If the argument gets intense or the feelings become overwhelming walk away. Now, don’t just drop the conversation without notice. Simply say, I” need a moment” or something along those lines and get some fresh air. When we are emotional we make stupid decisions, say cruel things, and hurt the one we hold dear. I am guilty of all of these things, but I have to remind myself that the man who runs around like a headless chicken for more than half of the day is my partner. My partner in life and my partner on the road to finding not only each other but ourselves. We are growing and aging together and this will, without a doubt, bring about problems but I take a step back and become the omniscient narrator. I take a step back and observe the idiocy in arguing over time.
*I would like to add that these tips apply to healthy relationships. If you feel that you are doing all of these but your partner is rude, uncaring and just lethargic than in reality there is not much more you can do. As I stated above, these are things we can do as a singular pillar not plural. We can jump through hoops like a damn circus poodle named Mimi but you’re partner better be willing to play the part of the peanut in the circus with you.
Today is a sweatpants kind of day. And not just because it’s pouring rain outside which the weather man swears is El Niño. Who even trusts that guy? With his perfect botoxed face and Superman slicked back hair but I digress. Today, as I sit and contemplate life and why my daughter decided to give her pre-pubescent attitude to me after school, I find myself admiring the lovely drawstring cotton hugging my bum. And upon my reflections I have decided to share them with you, the internet, because why not? So let’s just get into why sweatpants are a gift from the clothing gods…
- Sweatpants let me be bloated. No shame in my game when I reach into the bottom ebony drawer during that time of the month. I’m bloated, cramping and hormonal. Tell me I can’t don my sweatpants and see what happens. Seriously though, no one wants a tight fitting pencil skirt that came off the sale rack from Windsor squeezing your ovaries and making you wish you could be pee standing up when Auntie Flow comes for a visit to pinch your lady parts instead of your cheeks.
- Sweatpants require zero effort. Throwing those bad boys on with the latest Anime Expo shirt creates the perfect outfit not only to go to Wal-Mart in but it also creates the lovely “stay away from me because I clearly don’t care about society” look. Perfect for those days you really don’t want the men outside of Home Depot staring at your backside because in their minds you’re the only woman to brave the lumber aisle.
- Sweatpants tell your significant other “Today is just not the day”. Ever have those days when sex just seems like you have to prepare to run the 100-yard dash agaisnt Stacy Fastfeet and you’re just not up for it? Probably not if you’re nineteen and “experimenting” but let me tell you. After you get your kids in bed and dinner cleaned up, once you respond to emails and run the laundry in the dryer one more time just for safe measure, and you’re two episodes away from finishing the third season of Orange Is the New Black, sex is the last thing on your mind. Sorry hubby, tis true.
- Sweatpants have evolved from being meant for exercise to meaning it’s a Netlfix day. Need I say more?
- Sweatpants make errands so much more bearable. You know I do admit that at times (fleeting and rare in their appearance) I envy the girl in heels wearing her 20-inch extensions mailing a box out at the post office but let’s be real. She does not go out like that everyday and if she does…woman more power to you! Personally, on my days off, I like to call them errand/chore day, sweatpants are my bestfriend until about 2:30 when society deems I look presentable to retrieve my little me from school.
- Sweatpants give my legs room to breathe. Those skinny jeans and leggings make me feel like corsets have undergone metamorphosis and moved from our waists down to our legs. I don’t care if they make my butt look good, I’m married and past looking cute on days other than date night.
- Sweatpants let me eat more than I probably should. When I cook my military sized portions for a family of three where else is it supposed to go other than in my belly?! I just had one of the best ideas ever. Thanksgiving shall hence forth be known as “sweatpants day” in our household!
- Sweatpants make pregnancy twenty percent less bad. That elastic waist band though! My gravitation towards them may have something to do with the fact that ten years ago when I was fifteen and pregnant, yes fifteen and pregnant, the maternity clothes looked like something my eighty year old grandmother would turn her nose up at the thrift store for the eldery. I like to believe we have grown since then, pun intended.
- Sweatpants make reading amazing. There’s something about curling up with a good book in a pair of sweatpants that just beats reading in a coffee shop in a beret and skinny jeans any day. The whole experience is elevated and I can transport myself into China with the characters of The Joy Luck Club. You don’t get that at Starbucks.
- Sweatpants don’t define me. I don’t care who looks at me or this post and thinks what a lazy slob. I know who I am, I know what I stand for, and no piece of clothing will speak for me. So, the next time you feel self conscious about buying the sweatpants two sizes too big for you over the leggings with the word LOVE on the butt remember that you are you. You get decide what affects you and who for that matter. So, just buy the damn sweats!