Growing Up is Scary as S*#@!

I’m sitting here on my couch. Staring at the ceiling and, having just finished Girl Boss on Netflix, feeling quite emo.

I’ll be 28 next week and to some that may seem young but to me it signals that my time is running out. My time to do something fucking amazing with my life is getting smaller and smaller. (I don’t even know where I’m about to go with this blog but bear with me readers of the world wide web.)

My whole life has always revolved around pleasing others, caring for others….others being the underlying issue. I got straight A’s, went to college, got a respectable job…blah blah blah. Shit, I even made sure not to offend anyone in the process. I’ve always been pressured to be perfect, to be something that I’m not.

I want to cry and scream all at the same time. What the hell am I doing?

I’ll be 28 next week and feel like I’ve got nothing I can call my own. I own this blog, I have a YouTube channel but I can’t even find the time to shower, let alone post. And growing up is hard, man. It’s hard because no one tells you what you’re doing right. It’s always about what you’re doing wrong and I’m sick of it.

The happiest time of my life was after college when I was creating and uploading content on a consistent basis. I was free to do what I wanted…finally. I was free from the confines of society and family. But I fell victim to it once again and got a “real” job as my family likes to put it. Growing up is a lie and I think I’m gonna skip it.

I don’t know what comes next in my life. Shit, I don’t even know what I’m gonna have for breakfast tomorrow morning but I do know something’s coming and it’s strong as shit. Like me. Maybe these are the ramblings of an overtired mom who hasn’t washed her hair in three days or maybe, just maybe, these are the seeds of a dreamer that has lied dormant in me for too long.

Who knows?

6 Toxic Ingredients in Fake Cosmetics💀

Good morning internet, 

Today, I wanted to share with you all some scary yet vital information regarding counterfeit cosmetics being sold online as we speak. Before I get into the gritty details though I would like to say thank you to all of you who read these posts and send me positive words of encouragement. This blog has given me a place to be myself and most importantly to help others which has always been my ultimate goal. I want to push myself until the end of the year and try to get a post up everyday! So look forward to a flood of content from me! Okay, on to the heart of this article. 


As some of you may know, I run a YouTube channel under the same name as this blog and when a fellow YouTuber friend of mine recently asked us to raise awareness on this subject I couldn’t turn a blind eye. Fake makeup hauls from Aliexpress, Ebay and the like are flooding YouTube right now, and what scares me the most is that viewers are often times impressionable young girls unaware of the dangers that lurk inside these knock-off cosmetics. And the purchase of these items isn’t simply driving millions of U.S. dollars out of the country, it is posing a serious health risk. 

Our skin, the largest organ on our body, absorbs what we put on it and according to some sites, women take in 168 chemicals everyday in their personal care. While there are several existing debates as to how much, and what, the body absorbs, there is no denying the fact that illnesses have been on the rise since the increase of artificial ingredients in the 1950s. Can Cosmetics be absorbed into your Bloodstream?  by biologist Lorraine Dallmeier is an extremely helpful article if you would like to read more and form your own opinion on this matter. Nevertheless, the presence of these six ingredients in counterfeit cosmetics is more than enough to cause alarm. So, what are they finding in fake-up (heh heh I shall coin this new term)?

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Place of creation. Aren’t you just so eager to buy fake-up now? (Picture from Google images)

 

  1. Mercury: Ever heard the term “mad as a hatter”? Thank mercury for that! In the 1900s hatters worked with mercury while constructing hats and over time the exposure to mercury lead to a change in their demeanor…they went mad. This is when we noticed that mercury posed a serious threat to our bodies, and if you’re finding it in your makeup in 2016 THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG! It can cause damage to the brain, kidneys, lungs and in some severe circumstances death. I’ll take my eye shadow without a side of death thank you very much. 
  2. Lead:
    reaction 1.jpg

    Women waking up to pink and swollen eyes. (Picture courtesy of Google images)

    Need I say more?! Lead can lead (ahh the homograph hehe) to abdominal pain, confusion, headache, anemia and irritability in small dosages. In larger, more severe cases, it can cause seizures, a coma and even death. Pregnant women exposed to lead are at risk of a miscarriage or premature birth. Is the $15 dollar fake Urban Decay Naked 3 pallet worth that? No, I think not. 

  3. Arsenic: Exposure to this deadly ingredient increases your chance of skin and lung cancer with a shot of damage to the kidneys and bladder. It increases risk of damage to a developing fetus and can even cause, you guessed it, death. I know, I’m starting to sound repetitious but tis the truth. I’d like to think of it as a kind reminder from a friend of why these things are banned from our products!!! 😉
  4. CyanideWhenever I think of cyanide, I think of those women who slowly poison their hubbys to collect on life insurance. Remind me why it’s showing up in my mascara?! I’m such a glass half full kind of gal. 😉 Cyanide can cause depression of the central nervous system leading to respiratory arrest and…death. Shocker. It also comes with a friend called, “damage to your vital organs like the heart”

    Reaction3.jpg

    Skin irritation and rashes are the least deadly of the possible outcomes but the most frequent. (Picture acquired from Google)

  5. Rat Droppings: No, the rats are not cute like the ones from Ratatouille. Yes, their feces is harmful to us. And yes, I, too, wonder why Disney thought it was a great idea to have rats preparing meals for ravenous guests. Aside from my pondering, this is what the CDC says about exposure to droppings. It can lead to one of three exciting illness with the first being Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome or HPS. Second, is the development of Leptospirosis in which humans display high fever, chills, jaundice, and red eyes just to name a few of the minor symptoms. Lastly, exposure to rat feces can potentially cause Eosinophillic Meningitis or basically an infection of the brain associated with worms that enter the body. Sounds like a great spring break doesn’t it?! 
  6. Human Urine: While I have yet to find any jarring side affects from this, I do know that urine is riddled with ammonia which is extremely bad for us. Whether or not this ammonia is still present in the cosmetic upon arrival I am unsure of but I am left with one vital question on my mind. How in the HELL is human urine getting inside knock-off M.A.C. and Benefit Mascaras?! Are they peeing in the bottle?! I think I’ll pass on human urine in my daily makeup routine. 

👇If you’d like to see me talk about this live check out my video here:👇

 

I apologize if some of the images and information are scary in any way but I truly feel that we need to bring a stop to this madness. Our health and safety should always come first because we are only given one body. We might as well take care of it right?!

💌If you have any input leave a comment down below or make an article/video/post about this subject. If we work together would could raise awareness of the dangers of this fad.💌 

💀Websites I referenced for this article and video:💀

 

Jordana Halloween Limited Edition Liquid Lip Color💋

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In order from left to right: Ghost Town, Witchy Night, Twisted Tangerine, Bloody Beautiful, Vampy Vixen, Enchanted Goddess, Fantasy Fairy, and Zombie Queen.

Yesterday, as I circled the beauty area at my local Walgreens in search of the Milani foundation in my shade (and to no avail), I came across something that was far more exciting for me! Signal drum roll….the Jordana Sweet Cream Lip Colors in a limited edition Halloween collection. The colors were eye catching to say the least and I knew I had to pick some up. Especially at only $4.99 a piece!

Now, I had no idea how these were going to perform because I had never even heard of them before. I know, shame on me. DSC01726.JPGI took a leap of faith though and snagged four of them. I purchased (in order from left to right in the picture to your left): Fantasy Fairy, Witchy Night, Zombie Queen, and Vampy Vixen. There were several other colors in the collection that I did not buy because I wanted to buy colors I knew I did not have in my collection.

Now, let’s talk about a few things:

  1. Color, color, color: The three shades on the left performed so well! They went on in one coat, and were very true to the tube with the exception of Zombie Queen looking a little more blue when applied. Vampy Vixen, however, did not live up to my expectations as it went on very streaky and left patches of dark and light on my lips even after a second coat. And no, I did not exile the poor darling to the right of the photo on purpose. Sheer accident, I promise. 😉
  2. Applicator: The doe foot applicator has a peculiar shape which I found to greatly aid in putting the lippie on straight out of the tube. It has a sort of heel on it that, I feel, helps to stabilize the hand as you swipe it across your lip. Check out my video below if you’d like to see exactly what I’m talking about.
  3. Price and quantity: Now, these are priced at $4.99, as mentioned above. With that being said you are only getting .11oz or 3 g of product here which is about half the size of a normal liquid lipstick. I do feel that the price could be lowered a bit because of simple math that I’ll break down for you… A Milani Amore Matte Lip Cream is $7.97 as its cheapest and you receive .21oz or 6 g of product. This lip cream is one of my favorites at the drugstore for the way it goes on and wears throughout the day. Now, Milani is a bit of a more “expensive” drugstore brand while Jordana is at the lower end with pricing. If I were to double the amount of product in the Jordana Sweet Cream Matte Liquid Lip Color it would put me at .22oz or 6 g of product but the price would be $9.98. This price comes in a lot higher than even Milani, who in my opinion, is up there with NYX. Now, why would I pay ten dollars for a product from a company who strives to put forward quality, low-priced items? As a smart consumer, I have to say that I am a bit unhappy with the amount of product and would like to see either a small price drop or a slight increase in the net weight. Sorry, Jordana!! Just my thoughts on the matter.
  4. Formulation: Moving on to a more positive note, I felt that the staying power and overall performance of this product rivals some of my favorite liquid lippies and am happy to see cruelty-free drugstore alternatives! The only time my color started to wear was at dinner when I was eating greasy tacos..yes greasy. 🙂 This, however, is normal for any liquid lip I have tried. I definitely recommend these if you’re in the market for some fun, vibrant colors!!

👇These are just a few of my thoughts on the product and if you’d like to see even more as well as how they look live check out my video below:👇

🌿Earthling Beauty Review🌿

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Earthling Beauty founder, Jill Volat, cultivating change at her non-profit The Edible Apartment based in LA, CA.    *Photo courtesy of The Edible Apartment*

Today, I wanted to follow up with a video I made a few days ago reviewing a cruelty-free company called Earthling Beauty run by green beauty entrepreneur Jill Volat.  They specialize in sourcing “organically grown ingredients from family owned farms and apiaries, the products are 100% natural, chemical & cruelty free and completely handmade”. The breakthrough skincare line also works alongside a non-profit organization, The Edible Apartment, that strives to create urban farms in the LA area. Not only is the skincare great but the morals behind the company make it a leader in the beauty industry.

 

After months of holding a microscope to the product and noting its triumphs and downfalls, I am happy to report that the positives far outweigh the negatives. I have given careful consideration to each individual product, its performance and price bracket, and truly feel that spending your hard earned money on products such as these are a dime well spent!

Here are a few reasons why I simply adore the line and why you should hop over to their site right now:

  1. INGREDIENTS: Not only can you pronounce everything on the label (How often can you say that?!) but all of the ingredients are locally sourced, organic and crystal infused for that extra little kick of positive vibes. ❤
  2. PRICE: The price mark is fair and you get what you pay for. Or in other words, the product to prize ratio is fitting, and you aren’t paying for some facial serum you found at your local Dollar Tree. It performs, smells amazing and leaves you feeling satisfied w
    ith your purchase.
  3. GOOD CAUSES: Which leads me to my next point. Every time you reach for this product you know that a portion of your purchase will go directly their sister non-profit, The Edible Apartment. That means more fruits and veggies for the locals and a pat on the back for edible apartment.jpgyou. How many beauty companies nowadays run and fund (heh) a non-profit organization? Their are so many people right now living in food deserts without access to fresh produce and if every company took a step like this we would all be stepping over tomatoes and basil. 🙂
  4. CUSTOMER SERVICE: The owner, Jill Volat, who I was lucky enough to meet at BeautCon LA, is diligent in responding to any issues with her products and engages with her customers on social media. When I pointed out in my video a small issue with labeling she was quick to respond to the problem and has since fixed it. The issue being labeling Vegan and Non-Vegan products. Needless to say, she is a remarkable woman who runs both companies and hebas a clear vision of what green beauty is supposed to be. #goals
  5. PERFORMANCE: Last but certainly not least, the products themselves are worth this entire article. I have noticed a significant change in the way my skin feels after using the amazing Glam Jam. My once dry cracked heels soak it up like sponge and my feet have never been happier. My lips are hydrated, less cracked and supple even after a long day of the most drying liquid lipstick! The LOVE potion leaves my under eye area feeling rejuvenated and my hair look radiant. And the Sugar Scrub, which they are bringing back to their site soon, has pushed me to realize the importance of removing dead skin in a natural way. Can you tell I’m in love?

🌹If you are in the market for some earth loving, crystal infused and cruelty-free skincare I highly recommend this brand. With the holidays coming up why not indulge in some awesome self-care goodies! I would like to thank Jill for allowing me the humbling experience of reviewing her product and in responding to my issues in a prompt, professional manner. Also, thank you for what you accomplish with both of these amazing companies and for setting an example I hope to see many follow. 🌹

👇Watch me review the product live: 👇

🌱How To Eat Vegan On A Budget🌱

veganMany people suffer from the misconception that becoming a Vegan means higher grocery bills for less actual food, but I am here to show how that mentality is completely false! (Video at end of post)

Everyday new videos are being uploaded to YouTube, and many of them are Vegan What I Eat In A Day‘s or Grocery Haul‘s. While these videos are AMAZING for the Vegan community, and at spreading awareness that our lifestyle is trending right now, I feel that they lack a certain appeal to the countless families/individuals living on tight budgets. The food that is depicted in these videos can seem too healthy or intimidating for new Vegans and more often than not are not kid-friendly. Some of the ingredients are just down right overpriced and unnecessary in my opinion which is what lead me to develop Thrifty Vegan.

With this series, I hope to show that Veganism can be healthy, comforting and most importantly affordable. In my first episode, I take you along with me on a trip to Dollar Tree where I find a ton a yummy Vegan food for only a DOLLAR!! Yes, folks…a dollar! Here in this second episode I share with you how I meal plan and grocery shop for a week or so of groceries for my family of three. It all starts with a dry erase board and some peppermint tea to relax the mind as I brainstorm. Here’s what it looks like for me:

  • Brew my tea and wipe down my board for a fresh week of meals.
  • I gather the ads for the week at my desk and flip through them taking notice of the deals that appeal to me that week.
  • I sit down and think about the schedule ahead of us…appointments, classes, practice, school etc. By doing this I know when I will be home and what days may be a crock-pot kind of day or a vegan feast one. 🙂 If you need to, look at your schedule on your phone or desk to refresh your memory.
  • After I’ve figured out any pertinent dates, I begin with breakfasts. I try to be as realistic as possible. So during the week we have a lot of oatmeal, cereal or smoothies before school and on the weekends we have larger breakfasts. This helps me to not over buy things that will go bad and end up in the trash.
  • I do the same for lunches and dinners, keeping in mind that dinner always doubles as the next day’s lunch for my hubby and daughter.
  • I try to think of meals that I know with a few new recipes thrown in for fun so that I can get food on the table asap!
  • After this, I make the list on my favorite family app so far called Cozi. It’s the best for schedules, lists and recipes and can be downloaded by the whole family so everyone can see what’s going on.
  • Then I hit the grocery store with list in hand (or in phone hehe) and leave with this satisfied feeling of knowing I completed something! I love it!

This entire process does not take long for me at all when I get into the swing of things and you can check out my video if you’d like to plan with me! I am also more than willing to share any recipes you guys would like with my specialty being inexpensive and home-style cooking! I can even break down the prices for you if that is something you would like to see. This series is meant to show that Veganism does not only mean acai bowls and cacao brownies! It’s here for new and old Vegans who share a passion in making this lifestyle accessible to everyone!

 

🎓What to do after college…🎓

graduation

Look at me world! Heh heh

As some of you may know, I have graduated from college this past summer. While I cannot be more proud of myself for the journey I have completed, I find myself searching to find my next mountain to climb. And some of you may be able to relate or your thinking this crazy woman doesn’t want to rest?!

Truth is…I don’t. I want to live, experience life to the best of my ability and use my skills to better the lives of others around me. While I do want to find employment, I am finding that to be trying as my daughter requires a huge majority of my time. So for now, I figure I can post these small messages of encouragement with the hopes that they will reach at least one person in this vast universe that we call the internet. I know, so insightful right?!

Here are a 5 things that you can do after college to either help with a job search or simply just live after you have completed the one thing the whole world has told you to do since you were able to say mama and dada…

  1. Attend a job fair and/or a resume workshop: Each of these is a way to see what’s out there and to figure out where you can best utilize your skills. Your resume is your first impression with a potential employer and needs to be flawless. You wouldn’t want to meet your in-laws looking like you live under a bridge so treat your resume the same. Check with your school about resume workshops and job fairs because 9 times out of 10 they’re free and on campus. Attending job fairs or expos are also excellent ways to meet future employers face to face, tell them what you are all about and to better understand the product/company you wish to work for. Plus, it’s always fun to meet new people!
  2.  Take time to consider furthering your education: Does your future career path require further education such as a Masters or a Credential? Or are you not done learning yet? In my case, I am still unsure about what direction I am headed but if that’s a path I decide to go down I’ll evaluate the costs, time and benefits of the program. Hint. Hint.
  3. Start a new project: With YouTube and Instagram becoming a part of people’s everyday lives it has become easier for businesses to connect directly with their targeted audience. Have you ever wanted to make videos, create content, write a blog or simply be creative? This day and age could not be a better time to do so! Not to mention if you become popular there is a chance to make a career out of a hobby and to even..wait for it..be PAID for it! #winning
  4. Get a part-time job to fill the void: I know people think as soon as you graduate you simply must go out and get a job that pays salary but who are they to talk? Did they just go through their last round of finals only to wonder if they chose A instead of C and marked it correctly on the scantron?! Did they possibly write the 20 page paper on the hidden feminist symbolism in Heart of Darkness?! No! So quit thinking about what everyone else says is “right” and do what makes you happy. Having part-time work will put some cash into your wallet and let you experience what you like and may not be too fond of.
  5. Go easy on yourself: Getting a job and starting your life seem like musts now that you have graduated but remember that you are only one person! You went to school so that you could work in a field that you love so do just that! Look for careers that offer growth, stimulate your senses and constantly push your boundaries. These are the kind that will keep happiness a constant in your life!

😁*Bonus* Websites like linkedin, monster, indeed, and even craigslist are good places to search for careers as well as connect with employers! 😁

💕Going 100% Cruelty-Free💕

PETA-Cruelty-FreeI have been a passionate Vegan for over two years now, and when I initially began “transitioning” my main focus was what I was intaking and consuming diet wise. The thought of animal testing in the make-up products I used hadn’t crossed my mind seeing as images of poor baby chicks getting blended to death, and pigs being scalded alive filled my head. I’m not sure why it took so long for me to come to the realization that the animal testing defenseless bunnies, guinea pigs and mice fall victim to is just as important to me as what the farm animals are going through. I can only say that this event, this decision in my life has changed the way I see the beauty industry forever.

Due to this change, I decided to purge my existing make-up and to go 100% Cruelty-Free!! 💯*Signal round of applause*💯 🙂 It was neither an easy process nor a quick one as I had quite a bit to go through but I couldn’t be happier! Anytime I reach for a product in my collection I have the satisfaction and gratitude in knowing no animal had to die in order for me to use it. I used the help of a very resourceful website called Crueltyfreekitty.com for the bulk of my items and I highly recommend this site if you are looking for cruelty free information. For my nail polish collection I used an equally amazing site entitled Ethicalelephant.com, and finally for my Korean make-up I used Koreanbeautylicious.blogspot.com. If not for these sites I’m sure my time would have been a lot longer!!

🐰I can’t begin to express the delight I feel in having done this, and I hope to inspire some of you to rethink the products you may love, the methods under which they are produced and how this small change can save so many lives. 🐰

 

💕👇Watch me complete this task and perhaps join in with me!!!👇💕

🐰Here is the list of the product I kept:🐰

  • E.L.F.
  • WetnWild
  • Sonia Kashuk
  • Lorac
  • Tarte
  • Too Faced
  • Dr. Jart
  • Peri Pera
  • Nars
  • Urban Decay
  • Milani
  • LA Girl
  • Pacifica
  • Jcat Beauty
  • Bare Bones
  • Babyface
  • Nivea

 

☠Here is what had to go:☠

  • Sephora Brand
  • Stila
  • Revlon
  • Covergirl
  • Skin 79
  • Rimmel
  • Essie
  • Sally Hansen
  • O.P.I.
  • Sinful Colors (Owned by Revlon)
  • MAC
  • Maybelline
  • YSL (Yves Saint Laurent)
  • Clinique
  • Loreal

 

🌺I want to say a huge thank you to all of the brands who are cruelty-free and produce amazing product. As you can see it was really right down the middle as far as what I kept and what needed to go. My list of “keeps” also included a lot of drugstore brands which can make going cruelty-free extremely feasible for younger women/men, teens, students, moms on a budget or anyone really. I truly believe that each one of us can make a difference one small ripple at a time.  🌺

 

5 Ways To Kill An Argument

As I sit here in the Tijuana airport waiting another eight hours for our flight, contemplating the trust I bestowed upon my husband to set an alarm early enough for us to catch our original flight, and in shock that the Fanta here tastes like nectar of the gods, I wonder what it is that fuels fights between lovers. Is it the fact that one is perhaps not as punctual as they originally claimed to be or is it something deeper? I am in constant awe of the amount of trouble couples seem to have and while their arguments may seem superficial (You left the toilet seat up! You didn’t pay the bill…you, you, you), I like to believe in the inherent goodness each partner possesses. Call me a Humanist if you must. So, because I am in a bit of a sour mood with the man who couldn’t be on time even if World of Warcraft announced they were giving out life time supplies of their game, I would like to take this time to talk about five things we can do as an individual pillar of the relationship to get over the minuscule issues and simply just love:

  1. Think positive: Yes, you’re partner can sometimes have the mentality of a kindergartner, and okay sometimes they seem to be worse off then the lady in The Notebook who forgets her own kids, but remind yourself of why you are with them. Our brains have a natural tendency to think of the negative but push past that and think of the times they allowed you to do their cosplay make up after years of begging. Think about the time they tried to dance with you even though they looked like they could have been suffering from Epilepsy on the dance floor. Just cherish the time you have with them because moments are fleeting and the minute they are gone you can never touch them again only remember them. So, remember the good.
  2. Do something nice for them: Even if you’re mad! Doing something kind for someone else always makes you feel better. So whether it be picking up their suitcase because they look like they’re going to fall over (points no fingers) or popping a top ramen in the microwave just to say I love you, do it. Even if you’re bitter. Even if you can imagine leaving them behind and grabbing the next flight to Paris. Remember you’re inherent goodness. Do you want to add fuel to the fire or to be the bigger person? It’s always up to you.
  3. Hold their hand: Studies have shown that couples who touch more often, argue less. They also show that arguments dissipate faster if the couple is touching in some way. Grab their hand and squeeze it, not only are you using their hand like a stress ball but you’re helping to end the mishap earlier. And who doesn’t want to grab a plate of Enchiladas at the airport and catch up on their blog because the argument is over? 😉
  4. Remember humans make mistakes: No one is perfect. The person you are with isn’t with you because you are. People don’t love the perfection in others but rather the imperfections that make them unique. If we all loved perfection and were in fact perfect we wouldn’t have such a problem finding a mate. Eharmony and Tinder would be outta business and romance movies would be a joke. Sorry, Nicholas Sparks we still await your next regurgitation of The Notebook!
  5. Take a step back: If the argument gets intense or the feelings become overwhelming walk away. Now, don’t just drop the conversation without notice. Simply say, I” need a moment” or something along those lines and get some fresh air. When we are emotional we make stupid decisions, say cruel things, and hurt the one we hold dear. I am guilty of all of these things, but I have to remind myself that the man who runs around like a headless chicken for more than half of the day is my partner. My partner in life and my partner on the road to finding not only each other but ourselves. We are growing and aging together and this will, without a doubt, bring about problems but I take a step back and become the omniscient narrator. I take a step back and observe the idiocy in arguing over time.

 

*I would like to add that these tips apply to healthy relationships. If you feel that you are doing all of these but your partner is rude, uncaring and just lethargic than in reality there is not much more you can do. As I stated above, these are things we can do as a singular pillar not plural. We can jump through hoops like a damn circus poodle named Mimi but you’re partner better be willing to play the part of the peanut in the circus with you.

 

 

10 Reasons Sweatpants Save My Life

Today is a sweatpants kind of day. And not just because it’s pouring rain outside which the weather man swears is El Niño. Who even trusts that guy? With his perfect botoxed face and Superman slicked back hair but I digress. Today, as I sit and contemplate life and why my daughter decided to give her pre-pubescent attitude to me after school, I find myself admiring the lovely drawstring cotton hugging my bum. And upon my reflections I have decided to share them with you, the internet, because why not? So let’s just get into why sweatpants are a gift from the clothing gods…

  1. Sweatpants let me be bloated. No shame in my game when I reach into the bottom ebony drawer during that time of the month. I’m bloated, cramping and hormonal. Tell me I can’t don my sweatpants and see what happens. Seriously though, no one wants a tight fitting pencil skirt that came off the sale rack from Windsor squeezing your ovaries and making you wish you could be pee standing up when Auntie Flow comes for a visit to pinch your lady parts instead of your cheeks.
  2. Sweatpants require zero effort. Throwing those bad boys on with the latest Anime Expo shirt creates the perfect outfit not only to go to Wal-Mart in but it also creates the lovely “stay away from me because I clearly don’t care about society” look. Perfect for those days you really don’t want the men outside of Home Depot staring at your backside because in their minds you’re the only woman to brave the lumber aisle.
  3. Sweatpants tell your significant other “Today is just not the day”. Ever have those days when sex just seems like you have to prepare to run the 100-yard dash agaisnt Stacy Fastfeet and you’re just not up for it? Probably not if you’re nineteen and “experimenting” but let me tell you. After you get your kids in bed and dinner cleaned up, once you respond to emails and run the laundry in the dryer one more time just for safe measure, and you’re two episodes away from finishing the third season of Orange Is the New Black, sex is the last thing on your mind. Sorry hubby, tis true.
  4. Sweatpants have evolved from being meant for exercise to meaning it’s a Netlfix day. Need I say more?
  5. Sweatpants make errands so much more bearable. You know I do admit that at times (fleeting and rare in their appearance) I envy the girl in heels wearing her 20-inch extensions mailing a box out at the post office but let’s be real. She does not go out like that everyday and if she does…woman more power to you! Personally, on my days off, I like to call them errand/chore day, sweatpants are my bestfriend until about 2:30 when society deems I look presentable to retrieve my little me from school.
  6. Sweatpants give my legs room to breathe. Those skinny jeans and leggings make me feel like corsets have undergone metamorphosis and moved from our waists down to our legs. I don’t care if they make my butt look good, I’m married and past looking cute on days other than date night.
  7. Sweatpants let me eat more than I probably should. When I cook my military sized portions for a family of three where else is it supposed to go other than in my belly?! I just had one of the best ideas ever. Thanksgiving shall hence forth be known as “sweatpants day” in our household!
  8. Sweatpants make pregnancy twenty percent less bad. That elastic waist band though! My gravitation towards them may have something to do with the fact that ten years ago when I was fifteen and pregnant, yes fifteen and pregnant, the maternity clothes looked like something my eighty year old grandmother would turn her nose up at the thrift store for the eldery. I like to believe we have grown since then, pun intended.
  9. Sweatpants make reading amazing. There’s something about curling up with a good book in a pair of sweatpants that just beats reading in a coffee shop in a beret and skinny jeans any day. The whole experience is elevated and I can transport myself into China with the characters of The Joy Luck Club. You don’t get that at Starbucks.
  10. Sweatpants don’t define me. I don’t care who looks at me or this post and thinks what a lazy slob. I know who I am, I know what I stand for, and no piece of clothing will speak for me. So, the next time you feel self conscious about buying the sweatpants two sizes too big for you over the leggings with the word LOVE on the butt remember that you are you. You get decide what affects you and who for that matter. So, just buy the damn sweats!